when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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