He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
