At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
