im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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