I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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