omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
