we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
