I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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