Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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