I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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