i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
