I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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