her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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