drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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