"it" just moved
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
