Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize