his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
