your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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