she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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