oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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