I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
