ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
