In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
