I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
