It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
