I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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