What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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