I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
