I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
