News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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