woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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