Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize