I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
