oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
