dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
