and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
