I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize