I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
