Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
