no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize