Farmville is her only friend.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
