my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
