12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize