Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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