belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So apparently I’m into choking now
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