Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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