ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
