the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
