i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
