From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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