I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
