Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
