We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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