So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
