That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
