i already hear my dad disowning me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
