I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
