Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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