I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
